We’ve covered Adverse Childhood Experiences before, and recently, many parents are right to worry that the present pandemic situation is turning into one for their kids. The signs are all there. Stress among family members is high. There is much anxiety about the future. Schools in various parts of the country are still closed. And of course, there’s also the loneliness that comes from being forcibly distanced from loved ones and close friends.
But as troubling as that all is, it is also the best time to really practice all the best methods for stress management, emotional resilience, and strengthening family relationships. A good place to start would be to really just open up meaningful conversations at home.
No matter how difficult the current crisis has been, your kids need to feel the safety of speaking with family about whatever is troubling them. The Key to Helping Kids in Times of Adversity remains central in these challenging moments, and here are three reasons why:
#1. It is a Listening Opportunity
As we’ve discussed many times, listening is different from hearing. The former is a function of the brain, and uses a number of different processes at once (from emotional regulation and auditory processing, to executive function).
When you have a heartfelt conversation with your kids about their problems, you are exercising your ability to do this and be great at understanding what they say. Likewise, when it’s your turn to speak, it’s an opportunity to develop their listening skill as well!
Thus, make sure that the conversation is really a good exercise in communication. Be calm, careful and mindful of tones so that you can help a child process the difficulties of the pandemic situation.
#2. It is a Teaching Opportunity
It has been said many times that a parent will always be a child’s first teacher, and the present crisis is the moment for all parents to demonstrate this in the best possible way. No matter how hard it may seem to talk to kids about sensitive topics (such as the virus itself), you should be prepared to give them as much helpful knowledge and wisdom that you can share.
Having such guidance is a sure way to helping kids feel secure in difficult situations. It’s not a stretch to say that kids are more anxious and stressed when facing things they don’t understand. And when stress and anxiety buildup, everything from immunity to behavioural regulation collapses. Turning conversations into a teaching moment is a good antidote to their fears.
#3. It is a Learning Opportunity
One of the most fascinating discoveries in recent years is the fact that the brain can really alter itself significantly in order to retain skills and powerful memories. This is usually in response to a number things, including both adverse experiences as well as dedicated study and learning.
The latter is obviously your biggest advantage when having a conversation with your children. By patiently educating your kids while listening to them and making them feel safe, their minds are in the best state to absorb information and even empower them to act without direct supervision (which means you don’t have to exhaust yourself by teaching them all the time).
In summary, while it is important to bond with your kids in all sorts of activities during this time, conversations are definitely among the top priority because it can have such an important impact on helping kids deal with tough situations. Never hesitate to take some time off your day to sit down and talk!
If you need any advice or support, then know that we at the Australian Tomatis Method are still here to help you. Please reach out if you need to, either by email at info@tomatis.com.au or by phone to Francoise at 0414 444 915.
