Regulating Emotions for Better Relationships
Emotional Regulation and Dysregulation
In these fast-paced and often stressful times, in order to cope with the demands placed upon us by ourselves and by society in general, we need to stay composed and positive. We can unconsciously turn on emotional regulation mechanisms to cope with tricky situations and to adapt to these possible stressors. Emotional regulation refers to a person’s ability to effectively manage and respond to an experience and develop resilience.
However, emotional blockages can prevent people from listening. They can become stuck emotionally at a younger age; specifically, the age at which they suffered the original trauma. Prolonged or one-time traumatic experiences can lead to emotional dysregulation, preventing normal cognitive and subjective growth and good listening. Good listeners are good learners and communicators and emotionally balanced.
For example, think about a person attending a lecture or a child going to school, feeling relaxed, happy and being able to listen carefully in order to absorb what is being taught. However, if that person or child were to have had a serious argument before attending the course, they would be very emotionally upset and find it too difficult to concentrate on the speaker/teacher because of their inner conflicts. People who are trapped in past emotional problems are preventing themselves from moving forward in their lives.
How the Tomatis® Method Can Help
“The appearance and conscious self-control of the listening posture leads to the desired calm so that the heart’s ear opens”. ~Dr. Alfred A. Tomatis
Emotional dysregulation is a problem on the interpretation of the emotional experience. This process involves various parts of the brain and the nervous system including the vagus nerve with the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems also connected to the sensory processing centres including auditory processing.
The ear, when functioning properly, supplies about 80% of the brain’s energy. Sound vibrations go directly to the auditory processing centre to be analysed, interpreted and, performed as behaviours or responses to the situation. However, if a person has an emotional blockage which can be linked to some traumatic experiences back to early childhood, it will result in an emotional dysregulation. Therefore, the person might demonstrate frustration, tantrums, aggressiveness, and irritability as an expression or form of non-coping mechanisms to stress and challenging situations.
The Tomatis® Method exercises the ears emphasizing the high-frequency sounds that stimulate the brain (low-frequency sounds drain energy away). The high frequency of Mozart, especially when filtered, is very energising. Whereas, Gregorian Chant slows down the heartbeat and promotes deep relaxation. Both types of music are used in the Tomatis® listening program and they have a different effect on the muscles of the body: Mozart stimulates the extensor muscles and Gregorian Chant acts on flexor muscles.
This filtered and gated music helps reach one’s intellectual, emotional, and even overall potential. The Tomatis® Method is an educational program conducive to the therapeutic process as it encourages an individual to be more focused, present, and forward-looking as well as it helps to find calm and peace whilst relieving from emotional overload.