Parents of special needs children have many fears. They fear difficulties that come with their children’s condition. They fear the discrimination from people who may not understand them.
But these days, two new fears have taken hold. One comes from the possibility of contracting a disease that is fatal to the immunocompromised. The other is the fear of regression from the limitations of distance learning. In fact, one survey in Dublin had reported many instances of regression that began to occur after isolation policies were put into effect.
What makes this especially difficult is that the answers to both these fears have created a seemingly impossible moral dilemma for parents. If parents decide to send their kids back to school, those with complications are at great risk to the novel coronavirus. But if these children continue to learn remotely, they are at risk of regression instead.
How must parents face such a difficult choice?
There are no simple answers. However, emotional resilience can certainly help you take the first step forward, while also helping mitigate the factors that can lead to regression. Here are three reasons why:
Among the skills that are at risk of regression due to distance learning, the most common ones are social and communication skills. Without the presence of familiar peers, teachers and aides, children with special needs may find it difficult to retain these skills even at home.
On the other hand, parents are supposed to be within the same group of those familiar faces. Resilience helps to be an assuring presence that tells kids that they can still talk and learn with you. It builds upon the relationship they have with you, and lets them know that they still have a family.
Another common challenge among parents is the pressure they now feel being the last few pillars of support for their children. This is further compounded with the stress of having to also work from home.
But by constantly practicing resilience (such as being mindful, giving your brain much needed breaks and doing inner work), pressure can be managed. It helps maintain emotional regulation, and keeps you mentally fit to take on the challenge. It may not make you the ideal replacement for a therapist or a teacher, but it can give you the strength to try and be better each day.
Lastly, another well-known benefit to resilience is a stronger awareness of the present moment. This can be crucial when decision making is impaired by information of things that are not within your control.
By learning to focus on what you can do at the moment to help your kids (whether it is continuously reaching out to them, collaborating with educators or actively trying solutions) you are doing far more than what you could have done if you were paralysed with fear and worry.
Again, while it is certainly not helpful knowing that there are no simple answers to the present crisis, emotional distress and anxiety only adds to the pile. The good news though is that resilience empowers parents to at least prevent that from happening, and makes them better at their ever-important role in their children’s lives.
If you need any advice or support, then know that we at the Australian Tomatis Method are still here to help you. Please reach out if you need to, either by email at info@tomatis.com.au or by phone to Francoise at 0414 444 915.
Official Representative of Tomatis Developpement SA in Australia, Asia and South Pacific, Director of the Australian Tomatis® Method, Registered Psychologist, Certified Tomatis® Consultant Senior, Tomatis® International Trainer and Speaker, Co-author of the Listening Journey Series, 40 Years of Experience, Neurodiversity Speaker
