Safeguarding Mother and Child: Tackling Perinatal Anxiety and Depression

Emma, a 33-year-old woman from Melbourne, was thrilled to find out she was expecting her first child. Like many first-time mothers, she had visions of a glowing pregnancy and the excitement of welcoming her baby into the world. However, as the months passed, Emma’s experience was far from the idealised version she had imagined.

Around her second trimester, Emma started experiencing intense anxiety. She would lie awake at night, her mind racing with worries about the baby’s health, the birth process, and whether she would be a good mother. As the pregnancy progressed, her anxiety worsened, morphing into deep feelings of sadness and isolation.

Emma’s husband worked long hours, and her family—while loving—was not particularly helpful. Her mother dismissed Emma’s worries, telling her that pregnancy was “just hard” and that she needed to be strong. Friends were busy with their own lives, and Emma felt like she was drowning in her own thoughts. She became reluctant to leave the house, felt disconnected from her growing belly, and began to dread the arrival of her baby rather than look forward to it.

Postpartum: The Dark Clouds Continue

Things didn’t get better after giving birth to a healthy baby boy. In fact, Emma’s feelings of inadequacy intensified. She found herself unable to bond with her newborn, feeling completely detached from the idea of motherhood. Her anxiety now centred around the baby—constantly checking to see if he was breathing, worrying if she was feeding him enough, and feeling guilty for not enjoying her time with him.

Exhausted and overwhelmed, Emma’s situation deteriorated. She would cry uncontrollably, sometimes for hours, and her husband’s attempts to console her only made her feel more like a failure. The lack of support from her family didn’t help, as they continued to insist she should just “snap out of it.” Emma knew something was seriously wrong but didn’t know where to turn.

What was happening to Emma?

Up to 20% of women experience perinatal anxiety or depression during pregnancy and early motherhood. Now, consider that neurodivergent individuals are three times more likely to face these challenges. Despite these striking statistics, the unique experiences of mothers with ADHD, autism, or sensory processing disorders remain largely overlooked in traditional maternal mental health discussions.

Sadly, mental health struggles during pregnancy and after childbirth often remain undiscussed, leaving many mothers to feel isolated or guilty for not being able to meet societal expectations of joy and bliss. In this article, we’ll explore the realities of perinatal anxiety and depression, what causes them, how they affect both mother and child and most importantly, what steps can be taken to support mothers through these experiences.

What Are Perinatal Anxiety and Depression?

Let’s start by defining our terms. Perinatal refers to the time both during pregnancy (prenatal) and the year following childbirth (postpartum). Anxiety in this context especially refers to feelings of excessive worry, fear, or tension that can become overwhelming. Depression is more than just feeling sad; it’s a pervasive sense of hopelessness, fatigue, and emotional numbness that affects one’s ability to function day to day.

While it’s common for new mothers to experience “baby blues” after birth—temporary feelings of sadness or overwhelm—perinatal anxiety and depression are more serious and long-lasting. Unlike baby blues, which usually resolve within a couple of weeks, perinatal anxiety and depression can persist for months if not properly addressed.

Types of Perinatal Mood Disorders

The symptoms of these mood disorders during the perinatal stage can be many but one thing is common. They all require patience, intervention, support from family members especially the spouse and making sure that the soon-to-be or new mother knows she is not alone in this. The several types of mood disorders that can affect women during pregnancy and after childbirth include:

1. Prenatal Depression and Anxiety: Emotional distress that occurs during pregnancy. Symptoms include sadness, irritability, persistent worry, and difficulty sleeping or concentrating.
2. Postpartum Depression (PPD): Depression that occurs after childbirth, usually peaking within the first few months. Symptoms include a lack of interest in the baby, extreme fatigue, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, and even thoughts of harming oneself or the baby.
3. Postpartum Anxiety: Intense, irrational fears related to the baby’s health or other aspects of life. Some women experience obsessive thoughts (postpartum OCD), while others have panic attacks or constant dread.
4. Postpartum Psychosis: A rare but severe mental illness that can occur after childbirth. It involves hallucinations, delusions, and erratic behaviour, and requires immediate medical attention.

The Emotional Toll: A Mother’s Silent Struggle

The cultural pressure to handle all the motherly responsibilities right away can exacerbate perinatal anxiety and depression. Society often paints motherhood as something natural for each woman, as if the physical and emotional toll of going through such an overwhelming and physically taxing ordeal must evaporate as soon as the baby is born. This leaves very little room for honest conversations about mental health during and after pregnancy. Many women feel ashamed to admit they’re struggling as if their inability to feel instant happiness makes them bad mothers. This stigma prevents countless mothers from seeking help.

The truth is, becoming a parent—while beautiful—is one of the most life-altering experiences a person can go through. If a person has to be bedridden for example, because they are sick, they may feel lonely, restricted, a burden on others and much more. Many bedridden mothers often go through long phases of depression which makes sense. 

Then why must women who go through hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, financial pressures, changes in identity, changing bodies and much more should feel out of place for feeling this way? The overwhelming responsibility of caring for a new life can take a heavy toll on a woman’s emotional and mental well-being and there is nothing wrong with that.

Understanding the Neurodivergent Experience in Perinatal Mental Health

For neurodivergent mothers, the journey through pregnancy and early parenthood presents unique challenges that can significantly impact their mental health. The intersection of neurodivergence with perinatal anxiety and depression creates complexities that require specialised understanding and support.

Hormonal and Sensory Experiences

Neurodivergent mothers often experience hormonal changes during pregnancy and postpartum differently from neurotypical individuals. For those with autism or sensory processing disorders, the heightened sensory experiences during pregnancy can be particularly overwhelming. Physical changes may trigger intense sensory responses, while hormonal fluctuations can amplify existing sensitivities.

The postpartum period introduces additional sensory challenges: the constant touch required for infant care, the unpredictable sounds of a newborn, and the irregular sleep patterns can all overwhelm an already sensitive nervous system. These experiences may intensify anxiety and depression symptoms, creating a cycle that’s difficult to break without proper support.

Communication Barriers and Healthcare Challenges

Many neurodivergent mothers face unique obstacles when trying to communicate their mental health concerns to healthcare providers. Those with ADHD might struggle to organise and articulate their symptoms, while autistic individuals may find it challenging to identify and express their emotional experiences in ways that neurotypical healthcare providers readily understand.

Traditional screening tools and assessments may not effectively capture the neurodivergent experience of perinatal mental health challenges. This can lead to underdiagnosis or misinterpretation of symptoms, potentially delaying crucial interventions and support.

Practical Coping Strategies for Neurodivergent Mothers

Sensory Regulation and Mindfulness Adaptations

Developing a personalised sensory toolkit is essential for neurodivergent mothers. This might include:

• Noise-cancelling headphones for managing overwhelming sounds
• Weighted blankets for grounding during anxiety episodes
• Designated “low-sensory” spaces in the home for decompression
• Modified mindfulness practices that accommodate sensory preferences

Traditional mindfulness techniques can be adapted to better serve neurodivergent needs. For instance, some mothers might benefit from movement-based mindfulness or guided visualisations that align with their processing style instead of silent meditation.

Structured Routines and Realistic Goal-Setting

Creating predictable routines while maintaining flexibility is crucial for managing perinatal anxiety and depression. Consider:

• Breaking down daily tasks into smaller, manageable steps
• Using visual schedules and reminders
• Incorporating regular sensory breaks throughout the day
• Setting boundaries around social interactions and obligations

Partners and support networks can help by:

• Learning about the specific needs of neurodivergent individuals
• Offering practical support without overwhelming
• Helping to maintain routines while respecting the need for flexibility
• Creating a calm, predictable environment

Recognising and Addressing Symptoms

Distinguishing Neurodivergent Traits from Mental Health Concerns

It’s crucial to understand how neurodivergent traits might mask or mimic symptoms of perinatal anxiety and depression. Key differences that you must know are:

Neurodivergent Traits:

• Consistent sensory sensitivities
• A regular need for routine and predictability
• Ongoing challenges with certain social interactions
• Long-term executive functioning patterns

So, in a nutshell, neurodivergent traits have been present in individuals since childhood. However, they may exacerbate during and after pregnancy due to hormonal and other changes.  

Perinatal Mental Health Concerns:

• Sudden changes in sensory tolerance
• New onset of rigid behaviours or increased inflexibility
• Withdrawal beyond typical social preferences
• Significant shifts in executive functioning abilities during perinatal mental health concerns often include challenges in attention, working memory, and emotional regulation.

Perinatal mental health concerns, such as perinatal anxiety or depression, can impact a mother’s executive functioning abilities, which are essential for managing daily tasks and emotions. 

Commonly, there are noticeable shifts in attention—meaning new mothers may find it harder to stay focused or maybe more easily distracted. Working memory can also be affected, making it difficult to retain or process information for even short periods, such as remembering where items were placed or recalling essential tasks. 

Emotional regulation, another key executive function, might also be altered, leading to heightened irritability or difficulty managing stress. These shifts can be different for different people, but collectively they may impact a mother’s ability to effectively care for herself and her child during the perinatal period.

These perinatal health concerns are usually very new to the individual and are often accompanied by sentences such as “I have never felt this way before”, and “ I used to feel sensitive before/disorganised before but I have never felt like this so intensely before”. 

Improved Screening and Assessment

Healthcare providers need to develop more nuanced approaches to screening neurodivergent mothers for perinatal mental health concerns. This includes:

• Using assessment tools that account for neurodivergent communication styles
• Considering the impact of masking behaviours on symptom presentation
• Recognising that traditional markers of depression might present differently
• Understanding the role of executive functioning challenges in symptom reporting

Building a Supportive Framework

Creating an effective support system requires understanding both neurodivergent needs and perinatal mental health challenges. Key components include:

• Connecting with healthcare providers who understand neurodivergence
• Finding peer support groups specifically for neurodivergent parents
• Establishing clear communication channels with support networks
• Developing crisis plans that account for sensory and processing needs

The Impact on the Child

Perinatal mental health doesn’t just affect the mother; it can also have significant consequences for the developing child. Studies have shown that chronic maternal stress, anxiety, and depression during pregnancy can impact foetal development, leading to potential behavioural and emotional issues later in life.

For newborns, a mother’s mental state can affect early bonding. Babies are incredibly attuned to their mothers’ emotions and can pick up on stress and anxiety. When a mother is struggling with severe anxiety or depression, it can be harder for her to engage with her baby in ways that foster a secure attachment, which is critical for a child’s emotional and social development.

Causes and Risk Factors for Perinatal Anxiety and Depression

Understanding the root causes of perinatal anxiety and depression is key to providing effective support. While these conditions can affect any mother, certain factors increase the risk. These include:

• Hormonal Changes: The hormonal fluctuations that occur during and after pregnancy are significant. Sudden drops in oestrogen and progesterone can contribute to mood instability, much like premenstrual syndrome (PMS) but amplified.
• History of Mental Illness: Women with a personal or family history of depression, anxiety, or other mental health disorders are more likely to experience perinatal mood disorders.
• Lack of Support: Social isolation, lack of family support, or strained relationships with partners can make mothers feel alone in their struggles, increasing feelings of helplessness.
• Stressful Life Events: Financial worries, moving, relationship conflicts, or any other significant life changes during pregnancy can heighten emotional stress and anxiety.
• Birth Trauma: A difficult or traumatic birth experience can trigger postpartum depression or anxiety. Unexpected medical interventions, feelings of loss of control during delivery, or complications can leave mothers feeling vulnerable.
• Sleep Deprivation: Sleep plays a critical role in emotional regulation. Unfortunately, new mothers often suffer from fragmented or insufficient sleep due to the demands of newborn care, exacerbating mood issues.

Recognising the Signs

Perinatal anxiety and depression often hide in plain sight, especially when new moms expect exhaustion, mood swings, and overwhelm as part of the postpartum journey. But when that typical tiredness escalates into constant, uncontrollable worry or feelings of sadness that won’t let up, it’s time to pay closer attention. 

Signs of perinatal anxiety may include racing thoughts, irritability, or physical symptoms like nausea and shortness of breath. Perinatal depression can manifest as a sense of hopelessness, trouble bonding with the baby, or even thoughts of self-harm. If these symptoms persist for more than two weeks, don’t ignore them. Seeking help can be the first step toward reclaiming a sense of calm and connection—for both mother and child.

Breaking the Silence: How to Get Help

The most important thing for mothers struggling with perinatal anxiety or depression to know is that help is available, and it’s okay to ask for it. Too many women suffer in silence because they believe they should “tough it out” or worry that asking for help will make them seem inadequate. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Talk to Your Healthcare Provider

If you’re feeling anxious or depressed during or after pregnancy, the first step is to talk to your obstetrician, midwife, or family doctor. They are trained to recognise the signs of perinatal mood disorders and can offer treatment options such as therapy, support groups, or medication if necessary.

Counselling and Therapy

Counselling, especially cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), interpersonal therapy (IPT) and especially the Tomatis® Method, has been proven to help women manage perinatal mood disorders. These therapies provide coping mechanisms for dealing with anxiety and depression and help mothers reframe negative thought patterns.

For those who prefer not to attend in-person therapy sessions, online counselling services are also available and have become more widely used since the pandemic.

Support Networks

Isolation is one of the biggest factors that can worsen perinatal mental health struggles. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network—whether it’s family, friends, or other mothers who understand what you’re going through—can make a huge difference. Joining a postpartum support group or a local moms’ group can provide a safe space to share your experiences and receive reassurance that you’re not alone.

Medication

In some cases, antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications may be necessary to help stabilise mood and reduce symptoms. Many women worry about the safety of taking medication during pregnancy or while breastfeeding, but some options are safe under medical supervision. If medication is recommended by your doctor, don’t hesitate to explore it as a valid treatment option.

Taking Preventive Measures

If you’re currently pregnant or planning to become pregnant, there are steps you can take to reduce the risk of developing perinatal anxiety or depression.

1. Self-Care

It sounds simple, but self-care is one of the most powerful tools for maintaining mental wellness. This includes regular exercise, eating a balanced diet, as much sleep as possible, and carving out time for activities that bring you joy or relaxation.

2. Building a Support System

Don’t wait until after the baby is born to ask for help. Lean on your partner, friends, and family during pregnancy. Consider setting up a postpartum plan that includes extra help with chores, meals, and baby care so you can focus on healing and bonding with your baby.

3. Managing Expectations

Motherhood is messy, unpredictable, and often overwhelming. It’s important to let go of the idea that you need to be the perfect mother. Accept that you’ll have tough days, and know that’s okay. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough and already great!

Managing Perinatal Anxiety and Depression: The Tomatis® Method

One of the more groundbreaking methods for addressing perinatal anxiety and depression is the Tomatis® Method, developed by French ear, nose, and throat specialist Dr. Alfred Tomatis®. This approach is centred around the therapeutic use of sound to stimulate the brain, improving both emotional and neurological health.

The Tomatis® Method leverages the connection between the ear and the brain, utilising specific frequencies of sound (often classical music and the mother’s voice) to stimulate the vestibular system—the part of the brain responsible for balance, movement, and emotional regulation. By reawakening the brain’s natural ability to process sound and stimuli, the Tomatis® Method helps reduce stress, improve mood, and support cognitive function.

How the Tomatis® Method Helps with Perinatal Stress and Depression

During pregnancy and after childbirth, a woman’s body and mind are under immense pressure. The Tomatis® Method helps manage this stress by providing a calming, structured auditory environment. Sessions typically involve listening to music that is filtered and adjusted to stimulate the brain, helping to regulate emotions and reduce the hypervigilance that comes with anxiety.

For mothers struggling with postpartum depression, the Tomatis® Method can be particularly helpful in reconnecting them to their bodies and emotions, making it easier to bond with their child. By improving the brain’s ability to process sound, the method also enhances sleep quality, reduces physical symptoms of anxiety (such as heart palpitations), and helps lift the emotional numbness associated with depression.

Emma’s Experience with the Tomatis® Method

By sheer chance, Emma came across a parenting blog where another mother shared her struggles with postpartum depression and how the Tomatis® Method had changed her life. Intrigued, Emma began researching the method, reading about how it used sound therapy to regulate emotions and reduce stress. Desperate for a solution, she reached out to a Tomatis® practitioner.

The first few sessions were unlike anything Emma had tried before. She was asked to wear headphones and listen to soothing, specially-filtered music. The idea was that the sounds would help stimulate her brain’s emotional processing centres, helping her regulate her stress and anxiety. At first, Emma wasn’t sure what to expect, but after just a few sessions, she began to notice a difference.

The Transformation: Reconnecting with Herself and Her Baby

Over several weeks, Emma began to feel lighter. The constant knot of anxiety that had plagued her for months began to loosen, and she found herself feeling more present with her baby. The Tomatis® Method helped her reconnect with her body and mind, giving her the emotional bandwidth to begin bonding with her son in a way she hadn’t been able to.

Emma’s sleep also improved, which in turn helped reduce her irritability and fatigue. The physical symptoms of anxiety, like heart palpitations and shortness of breath, became less frequent, and she felt more in control of her emotions. For the first time since her pregnancy began, Emma started to feel hopeful.

The turning point came when Emma realised she was genuinely enjoying her time with her baby—something she had feared would never happen. The Tomatis® Method not only helped her manage her anxiety and depression, but it also gave her the tools to become the mother she wanted to be.

Emma’s Message to Other Mothers

Looking back, Emma wishes she had known about perinatal mental health struggles sooner. 

“The Tomatis® Method gave me my life back,” Emma says. “I went from feeling completely lost to rediscovering myself, both as a woman and a mother. It was the reset button I desperately needed.”

Combining Science and Compassion for Mental Health

Emma’s story illustrates the profound impact that perinatal anxiety and depression can have on a mother’s life, but it also highlights the powerful healing potential of the Tomatis® Method. This innovative therapy offers a holistic approach to managing mental health by addressing the deep-seated emotional and neurological needs that often get overlooked during pregnancy and postpartum.

Alongside more traditional treatments like therapy, medication, and support networks, the Tomatis® Method provides mothers with a safe, non-invasive option to help them find balance, reconnect with their emotions, and ultimately bond with their children. For mothers like Emma, who feel trapped in the whirlwind of anxiety and depression, the Tomatis® Method offers not just relief, but a path to renewed hope and joy.

If you or someone you know is struggling with perinatal anxiety or depression, remember—you don’t have to go through it alone. Reach out to a healthcare provider, explore treatment options like the Tomatis® Method, and know that brighter days are possible.