Bored kids are one of parenting’s most ancient adversaries. There is no shortage of quick fixes or lists of Top Tens that parents can check out for ideas. Many even just skip the internet and immediately come up with some good, old-fashioned activities to really get the little ones excited.
Yet as nice as that sounds, parents should think twice about treating their child’s boredom lightly. This can be especially in cases where children grow less interested in activities you think are healthy for them and argue with you about enjoying things that you don’t approve of.
Rather than get into a fight, it is important to take a step back and think about your approach to their boredom. Ask yourselves why they don’t find certain things fun. Spend a bit more time learning more about what your kids want instead of trying to impose something on them.
Here are some very open-ended strategies that can help with that.
In theory, parents are expected to be supportive of their children’s hobbies. But in practice, lots of things get in the way. Some hobbies can come off as very expensive or even addictive. Some parents may also just be outright dismissive because their children are engrossed in things they don’t understand.
Still, it is ultimately better to use these new interests as a way to engage a conversation with your kids. Let them teach you about their hobbies, why it interests them so much and the kind of skills their little obsession is actually teaching them.
You may have heard it said that bored kids are craving what’s called the ‘dopamine rush.’ This can be a misleading statement if it causes you to assume that dopamine is some sort of bad brain chemical (or worse, you’d think it’s a drug).
In reality, it is just a way of saying that your kids are looking to do something they find rewarding. That is what dopamine really is. Your kids are looking to do something that will reap a great reward for them once completed. It is why reward systems do play a crucial role in learning and it is very counterproductive to just downplay a child’s need for a prize. Be wary when you make kids do things but your intended prize does not live up to their expectations or efforts.
It is often said that a child’s mind is always somewhere else when they are bored and are thinking of times when they had more fun. Likewise, when they are absorbed in something they enjoy, everything else around them seems to disappear. Whether it is reading a good book, playing with friends or exploring places, these things bring their minds somewhere else entirely.
As a parent, how in tune are you with all of that? How willing are you to really step into their mind, see what they see and how they are living that moment?
It goes without saying that children expect their parents to really empathise with them. That, however, requires you to be comfortable with the way the world is seen through your child’s eyes.
To summarise, boredom is not something that we should treat like a passing phase or a bad attitude. It is an opportunity for parents to really understand what is on their children’s minds.
If you need any advice or support, then know that we at the Australian Tomatis Method are still here to help you. Please reach out if you need to, either by email at info@tomatis.com.au or by phone to Francoise at 0414 444 915.
Official Representative of Tomatis Developpement SA in Australia, Asia and South Pacific, Director of the Australian Tomatis® Method, Registered Psychologist, Certified Tomatis® Consultant Senior, Tomatis® International Trainer and Speaker, Co-author of the Listening Journey Series, 40 Years of Experience, Neurodiversity Speaker
